This is so true. The predisposition of Cisgender individuals to make inquiries regarding our anatomies and sexual practices goes a long way toward highlighting exactly who has an unjustified sexual fixation.
But at its core I think it’s a question rooted in their own understanding of sexual compatibility. Where they feel some attraction to the individual, they will use anatomical information to determine if they feel safe (heterosexual) by permitting themselves to have an attraction to that individual.
They place significant weight on sexual compatibility based upon their own genital preference, and knowing a trans person’s configuration dictates whether they permit themselves to be titillated or revulsed by that trans person.
The ridiculous part is that they wouldn’t have these inclinations if they didn’t feel attraction. When they get information that’s off-putting to them, they deny a very important connection to their own sexuality. One where love is not defined by genitals, but rather attraction to the individuals essence; their soul, their presentation. It’s a wedge of shame that prevents them from seeing us as worthy, and prevents trans people from being seen as equals.
This is the point at which we get labeled perverts, degenerates, and fetishists. Labels that help the Cisgender people cope with feelings they are unwilling to confront within themselves.
They diminish us to fight the shame they feel for being attracted to someone who whom they’ve been programmed to view as “less-than.” The minute they see us as equals, it means they have realized their shame is unwarranted. But because it’s easier to diminish our being then to work on their own personal perceptions and beliefs, we are forced to be politically ostracized to the point of homelessness, self-deatruction, and suicide.
Everyone’s lives can be enhanced by the dissolution of shame. This is something many Trans people have already worked through. Society just seeks to reinstill that shame as a means of mitigating their own.
Sexuality and genital fixation is a small aspect of a much larger psychosis of shame.
